“The intimidation of a victim to compel the individual to do some act against his or her will by the use of psychological pressure, physical force, or threats. The crime of intentionally and unlawfully restraining another’s freedom by threatening to commit a crime, accusing the victim of a crime, disclosing any secret that would seriously impair the victim’s reputation in the community, or by performing or refusing to perform an official action lawfully requested by the victim, or by causing an official to do so.”
There were simpler definitions I could have pulled, but this one brought up psychological pressure which I think is important.
When someone uses coercion in order to make someone have ‘sex’ with them- that is not making a safe place for consent- and as such, it is rape.
Examples of coercion:
'If you loved me you would do this'
It can also be giving someone drugs/alcohol so that they’ll be more ‘willing’/less likely to fight back.
It is ‘if you like your job you’ll do this’
It is ‘this is normal. this is what you’re supposed to do’.
It is ‘if you do this for me, I’ll do that for you’
It is ‘if you do this you’ll get a better grade’
It is ‘If you don’t do this- something bad will happen.’
It is ‘The way you were dressed/acting… if you don’t you’re a tease.’
'I can't stop now, you already let me start. You have to let me finish'
'I bought you dinner so you have to'
'At least let me _____' (usually a 'lesser'* sexual act, and then the perp will continue pushing further.)
Continuing to barter/beg for someone to have sex with you, and trying to make them feel guilty if they don’t? coercion.
A lot of perps who use coercion don’t consider themselves ‘bad people’ or rapists but at the end of the day, that is what their actions equal up to.
Remember- coercion is not consent, and consent that has been ‘coerced’ is not actually consent at all.
[Mod note: There really is no such thing as a ‘lesser sexual act’ because as long as everything is consensual, everything is okay. However a lot of people consider acts typically considered foreplay to be lesser.]